WHAT TO DO

I don't know where to begin...It seems that everything is falling apart. My boyfriend and I are just drifting apart, this has me so stressed that I have been a bit withdrawn these past few weeks. Due to this my family is complaining and criticizing me all the time. I haven't been paying enough attention to my son as I think I should, I haven't had the motivation to do anything and I've been simply feeling very down. My son's father has found a way back into my life. This time around he seems to be a changed man. He wants to fix things with me and be a family once again. I know this is my son's wish as well but I'm not 100% convinced plus I don't exactly feel the same for him as I did eight years ago. On the other hand, I have been trying to focus on fixing things with my boyfriend but he is not putting forth the same effort. Every time I try to have a serious conversation with him, he's too busy or it's never a good time. I have been crying my self to sleep night after night and simply don't know what else to do. I feel so alone. I am so deeply confused. My heart tells me one thing yet my mind tells me another. All these things are slowly wearing me out. I wish I can make everything disappear!